Are You Attracting the Right Partner?

This might sound like a headline out of a cashier line magazine at your local supermarket, but it will apply across the board.

The ancient notion that people can, and will, leave their personal issues at the door is a notion from a time long passed. This is the era of the whole person concept. That means the good and the bad.

How many talented people have you come across, that keep attracting the same type of business partners over and over again? We fail to realize that we will continue to repeat the same pattern in our own lives until we deal with them. You might have abandonment issues in your life and you attack a business partner that is flaky, or you have trouble communicating with your employees, because communication was lacking in your household. You might even find yourself in a hostile dynamic within your company, because that is how your family functioned as you grew up.

The empowerment comes from your ability to identify the patterns and address them. This will be extremely difficult to do, due to the internal conflict that this produces. Most people are terrified of looking at their issues. They will go above and beyond for their companies as entrepreneurs and fail to see that the solution lies inside.

The more personal issues you have dealt with as a person, the more healthy people you will attract to your business. You have seen this before- your friend that keeps getting into the same relationship over and over again. He’s controlling; she treats him poorly; she is undervalued; he cheats. You have identified these patterns in your friends’ lives and maybe even in your own.

The difference between relationships and business; is that in most cases, you can bounce back from a breakup or a bad relationship and jump into another one fairly easily. The issue arises when you are an entrepreneur.

As entrepreneurs, we’ve seen countless companies with great ideas crash and burn and have seen horrible ideas turn into companies that self-sustain. I want to know why.

Do your personal issues play a major role in your success as an entrepreneur? If you only have one shot, one idea, one opportunity, how do you make sure that your baggage does not get in the way of your success? It is hard enough to make sure that the market is right, that you have secured funding, that you have a good idea to start with. To make it all go away because of your “closeted skeletons” would be detrimental to your success. You may be paranoid, you may communicate violently, you may self-sabotage all out of loyalty you someone in your family.

If you believe that like attracts like, you will very shortly find yourself surrounded by people that share the best of you or the worst of you. This effect is amplified by how big the company is.

You can easily see the major patterns emerge in large corporations. We are all tribal in our human nature and we gravitate towards people that share our own values which is how the culture snowball starts. The company founder harbors resentment or anger and he will begin to attract people that resonate with that sentiment.

As the company grows, it starts behaving as a collective that is influenced by this emotion. Before you know it, that culture permeates the company. Now make it a billion dollar corporation- imagine how much anger and resentment will be amplified by its host?

Now, let’s look at the bright side. Imagine a founder that has found peace and compassion. He will attract compassionate people to his team. Now, let’s make that a Fortune 500 company. Imagine the impact that it could have on its surroundings.

Realistically, most people are just going through life dealing with the tools that helped them survive. That’s why you get companies with mixed values- they will operate in a grey area like most of us. Sometimes they spread compassion and empathy and sometimes they propagate fear and resentment.

We can change this as entrepreneurs by becoming the best versions of ourselves and knowing that we have a higher calling. Our virtues and vices will be amplified by our endeavors. It is our responsibility to deal with our issues. To embody values that will change our environment and to know that it is not random. We are products of the environment of which we are the masters; we produce our realities with our actions, and the more successful we are the more amplified we will be.